Halloween Humor, All Zombies must die! I came by this political argument naturally. I think it is more apt than most of what the Republicans, the Democrats and the Tea Party espouse! I mean, come on! I`m like the next guy, I try to give Zombies the benefit of the doubt, Obama argues for tolerance, and on this he says:
"Yes we can!"
I say:
"No we can`t!"
You see you let these people in, and things will change.
Let`s be Frank.
Actually let`s not, the guys an idiot!
There is a reason why the pill was invented, it was for embryos like Frank. Do you ever wonder how some sperm make it to the front? Isn`t it amazing how some people get born over others.....sorry I digress...but, out of 300 million sperm out came Frank. Truly amazing!
Let`s be honest I mean. These zombies are not like you and I.You let one into your neighborhood, and the next thing you know, as soon as you turn your back they sneak up on you and try to eat your brain!
What the f---? What`s up with that?! I`m all for religious tolerance. But God I hate that!!!
"All men are created equal," has been called an immortal declaration by the zombies. Thomas Jefferson first used the phrase in the Declaration of Independence. The zombies can call this famous quote immortal but they sure as hell are not!
Affirmative action, I`m there, you got my vote if it is under the right circumstances. Let`s not create a feeling of inferiority for minorities however. Equal opportunity, I`m for that too. But it should be done in a spirit of equalizing things, and it should not be an ongoing policy. I do not think a permanent policy of affirmative action works be it for zombies or whomever.
Halloween Humor, the Zombie Next Door
I like pizza with green peppers and salami, and you may like zombies. Maybe some zombies are your friends, your husband, your wife and usually your boss.
But man, I don`t think I am just speaking for myself. I simply don`t want them living in my neighborhood.
Okay, okay, call me a racist. I guess that`s what I am, I mean these "people," really are that in name only.
They are the UnDead.
There I said it! Politically incorrect I know, but they are dead! You can`t pry a heartbeat out of their rotting corpses.
I know, call me a right winger or a Tea Party member, and I know we should call them "Mortally challenged," but they are bloody dead!
Dead as a doorknob, Dead as the parrot in the Monty Python skit, they are pushing up daisies, 6 feet under, basting the formaldehyde turkey, they`ve gone to the bone orchard, they are stiffs, traveled to Cadaver City, they`re down under, if they were a movie it would be "E.T Bone Home!"
The suckers are dead man! They are staying at the No Brain Hotel!
That`s why they want to eat your brain! The fat lady has sung!
They`ve been beamed up Scotty!
They are in the worm trough and the worms are sayin` "I`m luvin` it!"
They have a permanent honeymoon suite at the Morrison Hotel.
They ain`t comin` back unless it is to suck on your bod. Let them live in the Village of the Damned. I think that is in Ohio. Yes, it`s a suburb of Cleveland.
I don`t want them living near me.
Do you?
On October 31st, Vote "Yes," for Proposition 666
Vote for a Zombie Free America (except for Ohio). Who wants to live in Ohio anyway. Let the zombies grow corn on the cob. They don`t even have a hockey team worth mentioning. In Ohio, women
spray breast milk at the police.I hate that!
Not breast milk! It`s sweet!
(Uhm,.....so I have been told.)
I hate it when a woman sprays me with her breast milk. That happens all the time in Ohio. Last time I was there, I got sprayed twice. I was at a restaurant and told our lactating waitress:
"Hey I didn`t order this."
Whooooshi! Breast Milk all over us.
"Wow you`re lactating, sweet! Hey I didn`t order that either! Where`s the manager?!!"
Whooosh! Splat!!!!
"Come on kids, we gotta get out of Ohio!"
(This was a re-enactment.) I always wanted to write that. It is not the REAL EVENT, but a re-enactment.
WARNING:
The objects on your computer screen are closer than they appear, don`t bash your nose on the screen trying to read this announcement.
(Pictured Ohio, land of corn and breast milk sprayers)
Halloween Humor & Ohio`s State Motto
"With God All things Are Possible," became Ohio`s state motto on October 1st, 1959. A twelve year old boy named James Mastronardo recommended this quotation from the bible. That motto is out of date!
I`d like to Modernize it to:
"With Ohio Trailer Park Girls, all things are possible."
That should be put on bumper stickers and on the state legislature. I think more people would visit, don`t ya think?