Tennis Jokes
Tennis Jokes - Beating Dustin Hoffman: The Tennis Dismemberment of a Hollywood Icon
The Horror, the Horror! But I love the smell of new balls in the morning! Hakone, Japan Academy Award winning actor Dustin Hoffman steps onto the sunny, sultry tennis court. He has played many roles in his lifetime but now he is Dustin Hoffman--tennis player. The tennis court knows no star quality.We are all equals on the court of tennis. No one will yell "cut!" here. There are no breaks for makeup, nor noprivate trailers. It is just Dustin and his racket. Is that the attraction?
For once perhaps, he can be alone; on the court. He doesn't have to be bothered signing autographs or doing interviews. Maybe by the end of the day he will wish he had done a few.
Megastar Hoffman will have wished he had made other plans this day, because he is about to take on a Japanese Samurai Chef of a tennis player. A woman who consumes tennis; loves to win and isn't intimidated by any Hollywood Tootsie! Dustin is about to play my wife! Sure Dustin, you can deny it. Who would believe us anyway? You can get your high priced lawyersto talk to me and write their incomprehensible letters, BUT I HAVE PHOTOS! (Like the one above)We were there, saw the carnage, and it wasn't pretty!
Seriously (for a brief moment), Dustin was no slouch as a tennis player. He was in his 50s when this historic match occurred. Tennis Jokes - Dustin Hoffman is a great guy!
It is life affirming to meet such a famous person,and he doesn't seem stuck on himself at all. He's just Dustin--very friendly and affable. But enough of beingmaudlin. You want the dirt right? That's why you read the news. Okay then. I'm risking a lawsuit here but thatis what I do for you, our readers. I hope you appreciate this. I could use more Christmas cards (address at the bottom).
Los Angeles born, Dustin Hoffman takes the cover off his racket and starts to warm up. My Japanese wife, the lovelyIkumi Kishiya, chops sushi on a cutting board in preparation for the match with Hoffman.
Hoffman, seeing the sushi knife looks concerned, or is he just "acting?"
Dustin won't sweat this much since the penultimate scene with Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate." The tennis too, will be more stressful than going through the motions with her.
I try to picture him dressed as Tootsie and hitting a serve, but can't. The picture is too disturbing!
This is not "Kramer versus Kramer," Mr. Hoffman. Dustin, this is real life and sometimes it ain't pretty.And neither were you as a woman! Sorry if that hurts.
The lovely Ms. Kishiya (my wife you will remember), steps onto the court after wiping away a stray bit of cuttle fishfrom her wrist. (God I love the woman! "Hi Honey!")
Today they will play mixed doubles-- Ikumi and Kazu Inoue versus Dustin and Mari Inoue. Not sure who the man is, I managed to imagine Dustin as Tootsie now. I gotta sit down, maybe the heat has hit me!?
Yes, we have some interesting match ups: Hollywood versus Japan, husband versus wife, America versus Japan-- okay I have watched too many sports programs but I have to hype this a little. That is the nature of sports coverage,and I am a JOURNALIST. I took the hippocritic oath!
Dustin let's his best California serve go, but Kishiya pounds it back using the force of the serve against the star of "Death of a Salesman." It was like that all day.
I feared "Hook" would be a failure at the box office if it had gone on much longer. "Who would be afraid of a pirate like that?" I heard one innocent Japanese toddler say. I consoled him with some raw cuttle fish. This was Japan after all. Dustin never took on my wife or Kazu Inoue again after that. He went on to make more great movies. But perhaps he will never face another challenge like that day in Hakone.
Sure Dustin, you can deny it. Who would believe us anyway? You can get your high priced lawyers to talk to me and write their incomprehensible letters, BUT I HAVE PHOTOS! (like the one above) We were there, saw the carnage, and it wasn't pretty! Tennis Jokes 2011
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